i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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