We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
