...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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