My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
