Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
