I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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