I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can you repeat that, but with context?
A+ Viking dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
