margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
