It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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