Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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