Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
