Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
