stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we're making bets on your personal life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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