I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My breasts were aching with rage.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
