just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
