remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
