3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
