yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
