Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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