i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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