Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
