Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
