ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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