YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
