I'm so fucking centered right now
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
