i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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