"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
