Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
