she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
