There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
