I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
