how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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