are you still at the devil's house?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
