their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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