is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
