I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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