feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
