Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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