Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
