until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize