I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
