Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
