do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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