Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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