wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
