hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
