Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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