Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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