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So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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