Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
