At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
