but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
