I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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