This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
