so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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