i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
