Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize