her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
