How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize