your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize