Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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