How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize