There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Couch. On fire.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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