we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
