But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
