they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize