dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i think i just lost a toe
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
