My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize