he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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