Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
