See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
